Dear Shaun,

I used to play in a band. I’m now a mother of three and feel like I don’t have a lot of time for myself. Once I do my part taking care of the house, plus giving my partner the time and energy they require, plus attempting to be the best mother I can be, I am usually either exhausted or feel paralyzed by my options. Before I had a family, the one constant I had was band practice and whatever gigs we could find. I miss that time. Do you think it is feasible to be able to at least have a weekly jam session again? As a family unit, we are in a pretty good rhythm and I don’t want to ruin that flow. But I really need a change, and I think playing music again would scratch that itch. This way I won’t be paralyzed by choice and it will motivate me to go off and do something for myself. I think it would be good to have my kids see me do something other than just parent. Maybe they’ll even think it is cool? Anyways, should I start a band?

Dear Momz Bop,

Yes, absolutely start a band. Can I sing in your band? Can I play tambourine? Hell, just let me sit in on band practice. If that’s too much tell me when your gigs are and I’ll be there front row wearing a homemade t-shirt with your face on it. Too much? Okay, sorry I’ll dial it back.

You got to do it. I think my biggest regret in life is not being in a band. One time in middle school, my family went to eat at the Hard Rock Cafe in Boston. I went to the gift shop and with my hard earned lawn mowing and snow shoveling money I bought a pair of Hard Rock Cafe drumsticks. For the next month I walked around holding them and banging them on chairs or sofas or whatever else I could pretend were drums. Mind you, I did not have a drum set at all. I was wholly convinced that if I kept telling people that I play the drums and if kept banging them on things like I’ve seen drummers do, that I would be able to will it into the universe that I play drums and be able to actually play the drums.

A friend of mine in the cafeteria one day asked me to jam with him after school. He was either genuinely excited to play with me, or he was calling my bluff. I was excited. This was my chance to show everyone that I could play the drums.

Sidenote: it was at this same time that I watched a behind the music of No Doubt and in that episode they talked about how their drummer lied his way onto the band. I thought I could do the same thing! This was it!

So, I get to my friends house and I’m going to be playing his father’s drums. His father was excited and got out of work early to come meet me and see me play. He asked me if my set up was comfortable and to seem like I knew something said that I play the snare more to my right. I had no idea what I was talking about but he was actually impressed.

Then it was time to jam. My friend asked me to count off, and I did. And then I held both of my drumsticks and couldn’t move. I forgot that a big part of playing the drums and keeping rhythm has to do with the kick drum. Whenever I have been pretending to play it was just with my arms. In that moment I was like, “I need my legs too?!?” I panicked, I started to sweat and I looked straight in my friend’s father’s eyes and began hysterically laughing. I couldn’t stop. Tears of embarrassment and hilarity were streaming down and soaking my shirt. No one got mad, they just were kind of stunned. My friend’s father sat behind the drums and jammed with his son and I watched for hours. Turns out that was the first time they ever played together. I did that!

My point is, you can actually play an instrument and you should do it as often as you could. Even if it means that you have leave your family behind. Yes, if they can’t support you, you must leave them. No ifs, ands, or buts.

NEWS

WOOtenanny put on a hell of a show last week at Ralph’s. Thanks again to the wonderful Matt Ruby for stopping by, definitely check out his special on YouTube, Substance.

I’ll be hosting the Worcester Music Awards, presented by Pulse Magazine this Wednesday February 8th at Off the Rails. I’ll also be at one of my favorite shows in Boston this Saturday, The Mendoza Line at the Dugout Cafe.

Tickets are moving fast and still on sale for Isabel Hagen at Ralph’s on February 23rd.

We also have some fun surprises coming up for the Spring. So stay tuned! See you next week!