It’s Shaun. I understand you are going through a real tough time. If you don’t know, you’re dad died. That must real tough, I know how much he meant to you. From what I’ve been gathering so far, you have been handling it by making a lot of jokes and doing a bunch of bits. That’s good for now, but you really need to face this head on at some point or it’s going to bubble up into something heinous or at least negative for your life and family.
So yes, doing something chaotic and then when questioned about it saying, “it’s what dad would have wanted,” is a great line but not productive in the grieving process. So instead of talking about how you are the man of the house now, but have low T, so you’ll need to tan your testicles, talk to a therapist. I know, I know, it’s what dad would have wanted.
Buying the 12 foot skeleton from Home Depot with LCD lights is not a good replacement either. You can’t replace your dad. He was a one of a kind, larger than life man. He taught how to play sports, how to be kind, generous, thoughtful, he pushed you to be a better person. This skeleton is cool and will be a highlight in the neighborhood, but he is not your dad. Please give the skeleton a different name, Tim, Pop, or Grub won’t do, those all have to do with your dad.
Your dad definitely, for the most part, enjoyed all your antics. He definitely would have been laughing or lovingly rolling his eyes at all of this. But you should properly miss him. Remember all of the goofy times you had with him. His goofy dancing, where he looked like he was pumping a water pump. His terrible singing, to wake you up in high school. The way he would sing “Cats in the Cradle” as I would leave to go out with my friends. The way he would sometimes no sell my jokes to make me feel on edge. The one time he accidentally got his tie stuck in a paper shredder. All of it.
He was always a calming presence in your life and you need to fill that void yourself. Be more like your dad.
All that being said should I get a cat?
Dear Shaun,
Thanks man. Don’t get a cat.
NEWS
My mind is all over the map. But I am performing at Off the Rails this Thursday, in Portsmouth, NH on Friday and Saturday at The Raven (lol).
Till next time!
My deepest condolences, Shaun. Grief is terribly unpredictable and never really goes way--you'll process however you need to. Keep doing your thing and making him proud, man.